“I hate this”.
It’s probably the first time I blurted those words to a person I hold dear. It’s wasn’t him I hate, it was the fact that we were on the verge of fighting – of not hearing each other’s voices.
I’ve always believed fighting is not necessary in a relationship. I know it’s possible because having a conversation, being aware of the two sides of the coin, is a solution for it. No one is right in an argument. If you can discuss about anything with the thought of trying to understand the other, then it is possible not to have a fight. That’s my outlook anyway.
When we try to voice out our opinions, it’s easy to speak louder and see we are the only right “side” because sometimes we try to bring them over to our side instead. I’m guilty of that. It’s easy to say “just find the middle ground” and troubles will be solved. We try, but I admit there are times where I can’t do it or it’s better not to.
The more you treasure someone, the more you get concerned with their well being that sometimes, even though you are only thinking of what you think is best, you end losing sight of what really is the best for him or both of you. That’s not for an individual to decide – it’s for both of you to talk about, as partners, under the guidance of God.
Last night, I slept in tears because I feel like I hurt the one I supposedly been cherishing. I wasn’t able to sleep well thinking about the better way I could have dealt with it. I ended up thinking about myself more, than him, and that’s where I made the biggest mistake.
There are things we can’t take back, Time and Words. I hope this serves as a reminder for me…